Day 33 - All good things must come to an end

It's been a great trip, but I'm dead tired.  I wish we didn't have to leave so soon, but I still have homework and a house to clean and start organizing.  I can't wait to go through everything and get rid of some stuff and purge myself of knick knacks.

But for now I can't wait to go to sleep.

Today's tribute is to two women who are completely inseparable and also happen to be two of my all time favorite people.  I've had such a great time hanging out with them.

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."

~Marcel Proust

Day 32 - Our Amazing "Don't Stop Believin'" Memory

We decided to come to my Mom's house for the weekend.  It was a great ride down here.  The epic rendition of Journey's Don't Stop Believin' was the thing that dreams are made of.  The more time I spend with my husband the more I realize just how much I love him.

Now it's time to settle down into a nice relaxing weekend with my family and no work for three days.  I plan to also take some time and work on my 5 year plan binder.  Hopefully it will be ok if I order my mom more ink when I leave.

I'm so excited to finally be here!  The only negative to living far away is not getting to see my parents as much as I want.

The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege.

~Charles Kuralt

Day 31 - Never give up on your dreams

I can't believe I've posted every single day for a solid month (I suppose yesterday could have been considered a month as well, but 31 just has a certain sense of authority to it).  Just 334 days to go.  

Today was a pretty productive day.  Work, grocery, workout, laundry, cook dinner, clean kitchen, pay all of the bills for September, and post on my blog.  I met every single goal that I set out for myself today.  I even got in a nice, long shower and some playtime with The Bear!

And the most important part is that I did it all with a smile.  

I didn't feel aggravated today nor do I remember having any real negative thoughts at all. The IVR got a little boring towards the end of the day, but I fixed that by cranking up the Broadway music channel on my Pandora.  There's nothing like hearing Idina Menzel belt out Defying Gravity at 3 o'clock on a Thursday.  Of course leaving it on the station also means that I flit about the house for the rest of the day singing, "I Have a Dream" from Les Mis.  Blerg.

We're headed to Mayfield tomorrow and I must say that I'm quite excited.  I ordered a new air mattress so we don't have to pay to stay in a hotel and I don't have to leave in a hurry on Sunday morning.  This all means that I can actually ENJOY a visit to see my family for a change.  (do not take that personally, Mother, you know I mean the hotel/only there for 36 hour issues).

I looked into a few more things about planning our trip to the Pacific Northwest next year and I'm elated about my findings.  The more I read about that part of the country the more it calls to me.  I can hardly wait to see it.  Personally, I wish that we were driving there, but I think that's going to have to wait until we have a bit more time on our hands.

I am so looking forward to having a break from school next week and a three day weekend this weekend.  It will be nice to spend some of my free time not doing homework or being sick. Perhaps I can FINALLY start working on my Smash Book from vacation!

It's all starting to come together.  All the dreams that I've ever had are all starting to come true.  I have an amazing husband to share my life with.  A loving and supporting family.  A best friend that finally accepts me for me and doesn't want to change things.  I'm almost finished with my first college degree.  The next five years are going to be amazing.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Day 30 - Let me tell you about my 5 year plan

May 2018 will be here before you know it!

Today I decided to finally put some formality into my 5 year plan.  I've nailed down the area where we want to live (assuming that we do finally rule out San Francisco, which I feel is highly likely) and I've decided to make a binder with all our plans and goals that we need to put into place in order to make that happen.  In May of 2018 I really my hope is to be on our way to the Pacific Northwest.  There are very few things that I can remember being this excited about.  This is going to be such an amazing adventure!

So for today's photo post I've decided to use a picture of the area that we've nailed down.  The first step we plan to take in our efforts to choose a city to move to is our 3 year anniversary trip.  We're going to see about flying into Portland, staying for a few days, then renting a car and finishing the trip in Seattle and flying home from there.  I've found several apartments for rent through VRBO and I hope to take the vacation and also do some research on the neighborhoods in that part of the Pacific Northwest.  

I feel like that part of the country will be extremely conducive to the active lifestyle that we are starting to adapt to.  Plus we love the idea of cloudy weather all the time.  Especially, me and my delicate fair skin and horrible fear of skin cancer every July. 

I'm feeling pretty motivated these days.  Let's hope that I haven't bit off more than I can chew.

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

~Walt Disney

Day 29 - Time to get back to it!

Today wasn't too terrible for a Tuesday.  Work went really well, even if we did have to stay a little late.  We had lunch at Qdoba so I was finally able to quell my craving (sort of, it wasn't all that great).  Then I got home and went straight to the elliptical.  

Boy was I surprised when I made it through the Week 3, Day 1!  I thought, for sure, that I was going to have to go back to Week 2 for a bit, since I hadn't worked out since I got sick.  Not only was I able to do the 3 minute jogging part, but, for once, I felt like I could keep going at the end of it.  I took a look at Week 4 and I see a 5 minute jog in my future, but I'm quite a bit less intimidated than I once was.  Now I'm looking forward to pushing myself a little more.

Today was our weigh in and I was up 2 pounds, but that was expected.  I had a pretty bad weekend as far as calories go, considering the alcohol.  Luckily, I rarely drink so I shouldn't have to worry about that too often.  But I really needed it this weekend.  My nerves were completely shot over that party (for no reason at all, might I add).  

I plan on getting in the other two days on C25K before we leave to go to Mayfield on Friday.  I can't wait to see my family this weekend!  I hope they notice.  :)

Now it's time for dinner and early to bed for once.  I can't believe it's already Hump Day tomorrow.  Time is just flying by!  May 2018 will be here before I know it.  Then it will be time to execute the grand finale of our 5 year plan (it's just a move, Big Brother, don't come ransack my house!)

"If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up."

~Anonymous

      

Day 28 - Goodbye Intro to Programming

Today was my last day of my Intro to Programming class.  Halle-freaking-Luja!

3 classes next quarter.  I don't know whether to be happy that I almost have my first college degree under my belt or cry about the time I still have left.  Right now I'm just super happy that I have a 3 week break!

Today was a pretty good day all in all.  Work was good, class was short, and I made a 95 on my last speech.  Plus, as an added bonus, I came home from class to a clean house and Cliffarino made me dinner.  He's pretty darn swell.

I also discovered a music rest that I'm going to have to go to called The Sasquatch Festival.  It's about 150 miles east of Seattle and it has an amazing lineup.  I'm really hoping that we can go next year for our anniversary, but I'm afraid it might be a couple more years before we can line that up.  We'll see.

Headed to Mayfield this weekend and I'm really excited!  We haven't been to visit in a while, so I'm glad to be going for a few days.  Perhaps I'll be able to convince my mom into going geocaching while we're there.

Fingers crossed!

Speaking of geocaching...

Here's a little something from my first expedition:

"One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."

Dale Carnegie

Day 27 - West Coast?

I'm happy to see this week come to an end.  It's been extremely busy and I feel like I didn't get a weekend off at all.  Most of today was spent doing homework and talking about our 5 year plan (poor Cliff).  My brain is more than ready for a much needed break from school next week.  I can't wait!  Then it's right back to it with even more classes.  I'm ready to put, at least, one college degree behind me.  

Cliff and I are considering heading out to the West coast in a few years because it seems like it's a better fit for us, so there are two pictures today.  The one on the top is Seattle and the one on the bottom is San Diego.  I, personally, would love either one.  We've started a list that is up to about 13 cities that we want to research further, and most of the them are in the Pacific Northwest.  Now it's time to plan some trips out that way! 

"We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance."

~Harrison Ford

Day 26 - My First Party Host Experience

Today turned out to be more fun than I thought it was going to be.  I was so stressed out all week, worried about the house and the food.  Everyone was so amazing, it was so much fun.  
Erin and Kate even booked a party for October!  I'm actually looking forward to it, I think it's going to be a blast.

I hope the house isn't actually as trashed as it looks.

And thank goodness for Sarah and Rodney's help (and of course Cliff, but he always helps).  I'm lucky to have such great friends.

Did not do very well calorie-wise today, but it is my booster day so there's that at least.

"Friends... they cherish one another's hopes. They are kind to one another's dreams."

~Henry David Thoreau

Day 25 - Alcohol shouldn't have calories

Calorie wise, today was terrible.  Several juicy cocktails, 2 pieces of pizza, and taste testing of several dishes for tomorrow.

Blerg.

I need to get back to exercising.

Perhaps I'll get a workout when I watch this cute little lovebug.

"Children reinvent your world for you."

- Anonymous

Day 24 - Lily Bear Monster Zilla

I'm so incredibly tired.

I will be so glad when Saturday night gets here.  I'm going to bed early and sleeping for as long as possible.

I just finished eating dinner (which I'm sure I'll regret somewhere around 2AM) because I didn't leave to go to the grocery until after 7.  I was late getting home because I went out to have drinks with coworkers after work and 15 minutes turned into almost 2 hours.  

First world problems, amiright?

Today's post is dedicated to my dog.  She's awesome.  That's really all that needs to be said.

(I realized that posting one picture of myself every single day was a little unrealistic.  99% of the time it would be the same pose with the same record album in the background.  I think once a week should be sufficient).

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."

~Andy Rooney 

Day 23 - It finally feels like home!

Still going strong with the house cleaning, decorating, and errand running.  I will be so glad when this is all over, but I'm so happy about how the house looks right now.  We've been living here for five years, it's about time it started looking like we had some sort of a life.

I am looking forward to seeing my Mom, Tammy, and all of my friends.  I can't help but be a bit nervous.  I've never really thrown a party like this.  I don't know if I have enough girly cells in my body to walk around serving wine and cheese to people.  We'll see!

I have to say that I absolutely love the upstairs hallway.  Here's a glimpse of what we've been doing this week.

"Love is friendship set on fire."

~Jeremy Taylor

Day 22 - Cleaning time

Today was a great day!  

1.  My weigh in was 292, which means an eight pound loss from last Monday.  (I understand that I was sick and that's where most of the loss came from, but I'll take it).

2.  Work was awesome and I even got a raise!  

3.  My house is really coming together.  Rodney came over and hung up all my new pictures in the hallway and it looks great.  

4.  I was so busy that I forgot to even be hungry.  I skipped dinner.  I don't know that I've ever done that unless it was out of sickness or extreme depression.  I know that it isn't good to skip meals (and trust me, I don't) but I'm amazed that I just wasn't hungry.  I did eat a big lunch, luckily.

5.  I finally got in our mile today at work.  I know it isn't much, but it's at least a little activity and it was nice to get back to it.  This week is super busy and I might not make it back to the elliptical until the weekend.

I don't count the calories that I burn cleaning my house even though it's an option on Fitness Pal.  However, that's all I did tonight.  I'm deep cleaning each room in my house after work for an Initial's Inc. party that I'm having on Saturday.  I've been cleaning nonstop since about 5PM.  

Time for bed!

“We can do anything we want as long as we stick to it long enough.” 

~Helen Keller

Day 21 - Crooked album day

Feeling 1000% better today.  Went back to work and made it the whole day.  Had class tonight and wasn't too terribly frustrated by the end of it.  Got home and the hubster had cooked a great dinner of seasoned pork chops, twice baked potato, and corn.  All in all a pretty great start to the week.

I plan on getting back to exercising tomorrow right after work.  I had originally planned on redoing the second week of my C25K due to my limited lung capacity, but I think I'm going to go ahead and try week 3 and see how I do.  I felt like I actually "bounded" up the stairs a bit this evening on my way to class.  I was still pretty out of breath, but gone are the days of taking the elevator one story up.  That's a start, right?

My replacement shoes came in last week while I was sick.  I'm pretty stoked about getting those picked up.  Those shoes are so unbelievably comfortable.  I'm pretty happy with the purchase.  I can't wait to be able to shop to clothes at Fleet Feet.  They have the cutest running outfits.  

Good health doesn't have to be the only thing to focus on during all this.  :)

I'm really shooting to be back to my weight of 265 before our annual shopping trip to Cincinnati in November.  I feel like if I keep on the track I'm on, I should have no problem reaching that goal.  It's a little less than half-way and means I would have to average a loss of 2.5 pounds per week.  That is a little over my initial goal of 1.8 pounds per week.  We'll see how it goes, but I sure would love to score a bunch of clothes sales for myself on this trip.

Here I am the night before another weigh in - I hope I still have that smile in the morning!  

(I have no idea what happened to that album).

“People with clear, written goals, accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine.” 

~Brian Tracy

Day 20 - Project Bathroom

Still not a lot to report.  Worked on homework most of the day.  I did get a little activity in today when I revamped our upstairs bathroom,  I didn't get as much done as I wanted, but considering the week we had, I'm surprised that I got anything done at all.  Here's to getting through this week and then hopefully life can return to normal.  

“In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.” 

~Unknown

Day 19 - The End is in Sight

Today was much better.  Cliff felt pretty good, just a little sore.  My cold is all but gone, except for the cough.  I feel like it's one of those coughs that's going to hang around for months.  I'm not looking forward to getting back into exercising because I can see myself coughing to death on the elliptical.

I didn't actually get a lot done today.  I did finish getting some things for the bathroom and I framed all the pictures that I want to hang in the hall, but I just couldn't bring myself to clean today.  Tomorrow is going to be packed with homework and then there's class on Monday so I guess I'll have to split it room by room from Tuesday on.  Then once Mom and Tammy get here I'll make the food.  

This week is going to suck.  Back to work and school doesn't sound like a good time to me right now.  

Blerg.

I am looking forward for this party to be over and for my 2 week break from school.  I would really like to get my craft room picked up and the basement finished.

We had our cheat meal today at Puerta Vallarta.  We had chicken fajitas and they were delicious. Tomorrow I'm making pork chops and twice baked potatoes.  It's the first home cooked meal we've had in a week.  

“You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.”

~David Viscott

Day 18 - My Love

Today was one of the hardest days I've ever had to go through.  I watched Cliff go through a seizure and it was one of the most terrifying things I've ever experienced.

I know that this blog is supposed to be about weight loss, but not today.  Today I feel the overwhelming urge to put something down on (virtual) paper.

My husband is, literally, my soul mate.  If a such thing does exist, he's it.  He's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep.  I prefer his company to anyone else.  We live together, we work together, we play together.  I'm a better person because of this man.  He believes in me, he respects me, and he tells me (more times a day than I can count) that I'm beautiful.  He's never left my side even long before we were a couple.  He's the best friend I've ever had.

Today, I was reminded of that.  I know that he's fine now and he's sleeping peacefully beside me while I'm unable to sleep because a piece of me is still afraid it will happen again.  Even so, for an instant today I was reminded not only of just how much I love him, but that we will never have enough time together.  Eternity wouldn't be enough.

So right now I make a vow to make better use of the short time that we will have together.  I pledge to stop sweating the small stuff.  To let it slide when he forgets to wash the handle of a pan or leaves his socks in every room of the house.

None of that matters.

The only thing that matters is that I'm honored to be the person that gets to be loved by him.

Today's picture is from one of the best moments of my life.

ILYPB

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

~Aristotle 

Day 17 - The Sickness Continues...

No real updates other than I made it through a half day at work.  I really hope this is over soon.  Still not picture worthy today, so instead I'll post one of my favorite pictures ever.  The top half is Cliff and I right after we got married, the bottom half is the two of us on the same beach on our 2 year anniversary.

I can't wait to go back and have the same pic taken after we've lost the weight.

“Living a healthy lifestyle will only deprive you of poor health, lethargy, and fat.” 

~Jill Johnson

Day 16 - Nyquil? Yes, please.

Nothing to really post today other than the cold has been horrible and the fact that I'm posting this right now kind of amazes me.  I spent the entire day in bed and am headed back that way now.

No picture of me today because it's terrible.  I haven't been this sick since 2009.  I'm going to sleep.

Good night all.

Day 15 - A Little Bump in the Road

Today was a really terrible day.  Not only did I somehow manage to gain FOUR pounds, but I've also caught a horrible cold.  I've spent most of the day in bed.  The rest was spent on the couch watching New Girl until Cliff got home.  

I've been overwhelmed with awful and depressing thoughts all day.  I just don't understand how I could  have possibly gained weight this week.  I've worked out more days than not, I've maintained the correct caloric intake every single day (I didn't even have a cheat meal this week).  I don't know what could have happened.

I was ready to throw in the towel, but luckily Cliff has talked me down from the ledge yet again.  Hopefully I'll have better luck next week.  I definitely need it.

“You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.” ~Unknown

Day 14 - Backpacks and Late Dinners

Pretty much nothing for today.  Long day at work and then Intro to Programming class for a few hours.  I haven't been home long.  

Tomorrow is a weigh in.  I'm both scared and excited.  I certainly don't like the fact that I had to eat dinner at 8:30.  I hate eating late these days.  

Hopefully I'll be on track.  Just need a 1.8 loss.  I also start Week 3 on the C25K v2.0.

Here I am headed off to school!

“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” 

~Vidal Sassoon

Day 13 - Our First Geocache Bust

Today turned out to be a bust fitness wise.  We were 1/4 on geocaching and only walked about a mile and a half total.  I had planned on working out when I got home, but instead we decided to install a new over the range microwave that we've needed to replace for almost a year.  

So, overall the day was productive.  I finished my homework, did a little geocaching, and had the microwave installed.  I just wish I would have gotten in a bit more activity in.  I have class tomorrow, so that means I won't be back on the elliptical until Tuesday.  Blerg.

Oh well, it's still the most I've ever exercised in my life and I feel terrific.  I'm not going to get down on myself about it, I'm just going to monitor what I eat more closely tomorrow and make sure that I get my walk in at work.  I'm going to enjoy the rest while I can.

We did come across a really neat community garden while we were out today.  It was Cliff's idea to snap a quick picture of me in front of the sunflowers for the blog.  He's awesome.

“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” 

~Zig Ziglar

Day 12 - Size 10 Anyone?

Tonight will have to be a quick post.  I'm headed to bed as soon as I'm finished here.

Today was a pretty great day.  Woke up (when I wanted, just like I said!) and then finished my second week of C25K.  I should have never looked at the task for next week.  Jogging for 3 minutes!  I have no idea how I'm going to pull that off, but I keep telling myself that I felt the same way about the 90 seconds and I got through that just fine.

Today it occurred to me that I don't think I just want to lose 100 pounds anymore.  I want to keep going until I'm at a healthy weight.  While 211 lbs sounds like an amazing weight to me right now, I know that it still isn't a good weight to be for my height.  While I was working out today I thought about what it would be like to be person that runs 4 miles a day just to maintain.  What it would be like to sit down and still have a stomach.  To be able to do a pull-up.  All of these thoughts came rushing at me at once when I realized that I hadn't looked at the timer on my phone when the voice told me that my 90 seconds were up.  At that moment I realized that I was getting better.  I'm really doing this.  And not only that, but I was enjoying exercise!

So for now I am sticking to the initial goal of losing 100 pounds in one year.  However, I no longer think I'm going to stop there.  I want to continue to push myself to be the best possible me that I can be.

Now it's off to bed for some much needed sleepy-time.

“Most people fail, not because of lack of desire, but, because of lack of commitment.” 

~Vince Lombardi

Day 11 - The Season is Upon Us

It was nice to finally have a leisurely Friday.  Work was a good tempo, no chores when I got home, no errands to run, and a nice (semi) healthy dinner out with the hubs at McAlister's.  

We took a break from working out today (except for our walks at work) which I was actually pretty grateful for.  My back has been giving me issues and when you couple that with the 5th - 9th of the month and you get a pretty exhausted chick.  However, even with being "lazy" this evening I still find myself with quite a bit more energy than I typically have on a Friday night at 8:30.

Now keep in mind that this energy is simply me sitting on the edge of the couch dancing around like an idiot, while I read, work on my new workout playlist, and blog.  This seems to be attracting side glances from a husband who probably thinks that I've lost it.

This is because he can't hear the music.  Why can't he hear it, you ask? Because tonight is is the Minnesota Vikings first preseason game, so the TV has been commandeered. 

This is perfectly fine with me because of the most awesome headphones in the world.  In the past month I have developed a new found love for my headphones and iPad/iPhone.  A few months ago I ordered a pair of Bluetooth headphones for my last job.  I was cloud on 9 when I took them to work on the first day.  I didn't feel tethered to my desk, I didn't have to take one ear out every time I wanted to get up, and I didn't drag my phone off my desk and into the floor face down every time I moved.  Plus I could talk on the phone through them!

Why did it take months for it to occur to me that this now meant I could, literally, have my music with me at all times?  

Who knows?  I never claimed to be that bright.  

But better late than never, right?  Now I have them on everywhere I go.  I wear them while I'm at the grocery (my fave!)  I wear them while I'm cleaning the house.  I where them while I work out.  I work out when Cliff wants to watch the preseason.  Work is a given.  It's just fantastic.

So...back on topic.   While I did not work out today, I am definitely looking forward to waking up (at MY designated time, thankyouverymuchSaturday) and finishing out week 2 of C25K v2.0.  I never thought that I would look forward to exercising (or miss it!).  I must say that the last month has been a real eye opener for me.  The last time that I lost weight (375lbs - 325lbs and then 325lbs - 262lbs and then back to 311lbs) we worked out twice, sometimes three times a week, but kept the same activity level at home and at work.  Since we had so much weight to lose, it was easy for us to drop quite a bit by just monitoring calories and doing a small amount of exercise.  

This time it's different.  This time I'm going all the way and I'm never going back.

I am not on a diet.  This is my life now.  This is how I want to live.

It's a very liberating feeling to have.  I'm scared of the work and I'm scared of the pain, but I'm far more frightened of living one more day like this.  

I'm already noticing little differences.  Things seem to take less effort, my clothes don't seem quite as snug, my face is clearing up, and my stomach doesn't constantly hurt.  

Actually, when I lay it all out like that, it seems like a lot more than just little differences.  

It feels so amazing to finally be following through with so many things that I've only ever daydreamed about.  I've maintained this lifestyle for a little over a month and not once have I felt like I was missing out on anything.  That was a feeling that I constantly had before I started this journey.  My size has always limited my ability to do the things in life that I enjoy (or think I would enjoy).  Compared to that, a Quarter Pounder doesn't seem nearly as appealing anymore.  

But half a BBQ sandwich on a ciabatta bun does!

"Your body hears everything your mind says."

Naomi Judd

Day 10 - I've Got This

Another uneventful day.  I did get my work out in today.  Week - Day 2 of C25K.  For about 45 seconds of my third run while Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are" played I felt like a runner.  I wasn't actually running, but you get my drift.  For just a bit I felt like, "I'm going to get there.  I'm on my way."  Here I was half way through my workout and I didn't feel like I was dying.  At one point, I even turned to Cliff, with my music blaring, and yelled, "This is awesome!"  Crazy.

It was another Totino's night.  I swear I think I could live off those things.  Toast, Lunchables, and Totinos are my life.  And ramen.  Oh how I love ramen.

Time to head to bed and wake up to a wonderful, much anticipated and relaxing weekend.  Geocaching and homemade tacos.  Can't wait!

Before bed I've decided on a little treat.  DH has gotten me addicted to popsicles.   25 calories?  Yes, please!

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph."
Thomas Paine 

Day 9 - Programmer fo life yo!

Pretty uneventful day today.  Took the day off from working out and worked on a bit of homework instead.  Today was a close one - only 4 calories left!

Work got away from me in the afternoon so we didn't take our second walk and I was far too sore from mowing last night to work out.  Thank goodness for Totino's!  Not the healthiest of all meals, but yummy and within my calorie range.

Check out my mad programming skills yo!

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."
~Henry David Thoreau 

Day 8 - Sayonara 300 Pounds!

Today has been a roller-coaster!  I was super stoked that I had lost at this morning's weigh in - 297.4.  I am officially out of the 300's!  So the morning obviously started off with a bang.  I had a very productive day at work, albeit a bit boring.  All in all it was a pretty awesome Tuesday, which I'm not used to because I hate Tuesday.

Then I got home.  At first I felt fine, but after I sat for a while I felt a random sense of melancholy wash over me.  I sat there, feeling like everything that I was doing was never going to be enough.  I was always going to be big and there was nothing I could do about it.  Before I knew it I was lashing out at Cliff (luckily I''m married to the most amazing man I've ever met so he comforted me rather than snapping back) and balled up on the couch crying.  

All this on a day when I LOST weight! 

Sometimes I have no idea what I would do without my husband.  Instead of letting me give in and wallow in my self pity, he spent the next 15 minutes reminding me of all the awesome things I had done in the past month.  Going geocaching once a week, exercising 3-5 times a week, hitting my 30 day mark on MFP, and losing almost 8 pounds.  He reminded me that we are a team and we're winning.  Every single day that we make smart choices we improve our odds of having more time together in the future.  Every day that we exercise we get closer to fending off heart disease and Diabetes.

So instead of indulging in a large blizzard, I put on the headphones, went to the shed, and took out the lawn mower.  Now, not only do I feel 1,000 times better (but very, very, very sore) but my lawn looks great.  I push mowed the front, back, and sides without stopping for the first time.  The total on my pedometer was 2.26 miles.  

And I must have said five times today, "I'm not working out, I'm taking a break." 

Today was the first time that I can recall that I've ever chosen physical activity to alleviate my emotional turmoil.  Hopefully I will be able to look back on today and remind myself of that for future outbursts.  It's becoming increasingly easier to actually look forward to working out now that I have goals that I want to hit.  Tonight I think I'm going to outline a few and see how it goes:

• Complete a 2 mile hiking trail before the end of the year
• Finish C25K on the elliptical
• Incorporate weight training 1-2 x week before the end of the year
• Do a Zumba dance without stopping

That's a pretty good start.  

And now a picture of my pouty face when I realized that I had forgotten to ask Cliff to take a picture of me mowing the yard.  

Can't wait until those hamhocks are gone.  (Yeah, yeah I know.  I need to work on my self image)

"Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward."
Victor Kiam 

Day 7 - What am I gonna do with all this awesome?!

If every single day could be like today I wouldn't know what to do with all that awesome.  My energy level was through the roof!  We walked our mile at work, plus I started my second week of C25K 2.0 and I cooked a huge dinner for Cliff and his band-mate, Ben.  I even twirled around the kitchen while I was cooking.  Cliff and Ben were working on putting the studio together (the hubby's graduation gift was turning the basement into a recording studio) so I turned my headphones on full blast and danced around the kitchen while everything was cooking.

Now I feel like I could sleep for a week.

I'm super excited to go to bed, for a change.  I haven't been tossing and turning much lately.  I sleep the whole night through (mostly).  It's a really nice change of pace.

With that I leave you with today's picture.  My pathetic attempt at being a rock star on Cliff's drum set.

"Either you run the day or the day runs you."
Jim Rohn 

Day 6 - New Shoe Day!

I got new shoes today!  It was far past time to say goodbye to my 3 year old Asics.  The new ones are Saucony Hurricanes and I love them!  Not to mention the fact that they're incredibly adorable.  

This weekend was pretty busy with relatives in town and an hour long drive to Bardstown to look at furniture.  

While we were out today, I stopped by to get a sweatband at Fleet Feet.  I have pretty bad rosacia and since I'm actually working up a sweat these days, it was time to invest in a way to keep my face from feeling like someone gave me a hundred paper cuts and then poured salt on them.  

A headband turned into a headband, new running shoes, and pretty pink shoelaces.  

I was so motivated by all the cuteness that I immediately came home and worked out.  

I start my second week in C25K: The Elliptical Edition on Tuesday.  The thought if running for 90 seconds is terrifying. 

However, it is comforting to know that one day I will look back at this post and laugh.  One day I will have run a 5K and maybe even a half marathon.  90 seconds is already the second rung on the ladder.  I'm already past the beginning and that's half the battle.

"Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you."
Thomas Jefferson 

Day 5 - Family Time!

Today was a much needed rest day.  Spent the entire day visiting with family, which took place at the home of Cliff's 89 year old grandmother.  We sat around and talked and I did my nails.  Today I also had my once a week "cheat" meal (thanks Steph!).  Now we're just hanging out in our Florida room exchanging board game suggestions and explaining Candy Crush to Cliff's cousin.  Sometimes I just love fluffy convo.

So, not much to report today.  Except that the thing I will be happiest about once I've lost the weight is losing all but one of my chins.

"I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be."
Ken Venturi 

Day 4 - C25K Week 1 - Complete

I finished week 1 of my C25K experiment today.

I have to say that I feel pretty awesome about it.  I know that it isn't the same as running down the street or even on a treadmill, but it's certainly more than what I was doing.  Plus, I discovered that it really makes your workout fly by...as long as you don't stare down the clock.  This afternoon I turned my phone over and let the voice guide me.  Before I knew it she was telling me that I was halfway complete.  

I'm still huffing and puffing and dying a little by the time she tells me to walk again, but I feel like I'm recovering more quickly.  

I'm scared to death of next week.

90 seconds.

Seriously?  I have to "run" for 90 seconds?  I don't think I've run more than 60 seconds since high school. (Yes, I'm serious)

Oh well, one obstacle at a time.  For now I have to get through the weekend visiting with some family members which will include an 11 year old and tons of candy and snacks.  Not to mention that everyone (except the Hubtastic and myself) will want to eat every single meal at a restaurant.  

So, in an effort to give my will-power a head start, I'm going to make today a photo montage of past present and future.  

Sometime in 2006 
At my largest - 375 pounds

9/10/10 - Leaving for our first cruise

(262 pounds - lowest weight as an adult)

5/25/11 - Our wedding day!

280 pounds

7/10/13 - Time to change!!!

304.8 pounds 

"The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence."
Confucius 

Day 3 - Welcome to the Gun Show

Checking in for Day 3.

Life happened today and caused me to miss my workout.  I'm trying not to be too tore up about it.  I still managed to work out three times this week (and still have 3 days left) and we walked a mile at work each day this week.  I've also stayed in my calorie range every day and don't feel the least bit slighted.  

My coworkers went to a fancy lunch today at the Brown Hotel, but I elected to stay and have a free and low cal lunch with the hubby.  At first, I felt so guilty for not going and was afraid that I would miss out.  Then I got to thinking that, in the long run, I would rather feel a little bad upfront rather than REALLY bad when I stepped on the scale and that was that.

I normally don't count calories for things like cleaning, but I really needed the pick me up today.  Plus I really got into it this time.  I cleaned more in a half hour than I usually clean in 2 hours.  I guess I'm really starting to pick up the pace.

I let the hubster take the picture for today (only because he has this weird thought that I look good in a tank top).  I was dressed and ready to go hit the elliptical when a buddy called and needed an emergency babysitter ASAP.  At least I tried.  

Tomorrow is a new day.

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
C. S. Lewis